


There's Nothing Without Love

by FromtheWasteland



Series: The Ashley Mathews Saga [2]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-23 22:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18157922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromtheWasteland/pseuds/FromtheWasteland
Summary: The second installment of the Ashley Mathews saga. Despite all of the darkness that Ash has encountered she still believes that love can heal all. Can she convince Ponyboy the same?





	1. Challenge Accepted

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to S.E. Hinton except for Ashley Mathews, who belongs to me, and some minor characters along the way. This story is told as if the alternate ending of Princess without Grace happened, not the original ending (obviously because Ash is in this story) This story is told as if everything in the book happened with the exception of Johnny and Dally dying and Johnny isn't paralyzed either.

HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN LIFE HELP ME! I'm stuck in English class, my most absolute  favorite class of all, but I have a substitute today named Mr. White. He keeps on telling us his life story, and telling us if we don't pay attention to his rambling of his personal life story we will never make it through college. AGH!

I open my notebook, tare out a piece of paper and start drawing on it. I drew a frowny face with and “x” for his eyes, folded it up, and handed it to Ponyboy Curtis, who was sitting next to me.

Pony opened the piece of paper up and started snickering. He scribbled something down on the paper, folded it back up, and stealthily handed it back to me.

_“Tell me about it.”_

Man, we must be bored.

That's when the bell rang. Both of us leaped out of our seats and rushed out the door.

"That man has to get a life! I never thought that class would end it was so boring!" Pony said with a sigh of relief.

"What are you talking about? I quite enjoyed being lectured on how we won't be able to get through college without knowing every aspect of his family's history," I said sarcastically.

"Well, at least if he's here tomorrow we'll have a test to take instead of listening to him," Pony commented. Honestly, it was that bad. We would both rather take tests rather than listen to that old geezer gain. "Speaking of which, do you want to come over to my house and study for it?"

"Sure, that'd be great," I said. Inside my heart skipped a beat; I've had a crush on Pony for a while now.

Pony and I became friends after I joined the track team. I almost did a horrible thing to myself a few months ago, commit suicide. Pony had seen cut marks up and down my arms and was alarmed. After my first race, which I won, Pony told my brother Two-bit about the cuts. Two-bit hurried home to confront me about the cuts and got there just in time before I slit my wrists. It would've been a terrible mistake for me to make, and luckily both Two-bit and Ponboy were there to stop me and help me.

"Hey butthead!" I greeted my brother who cocked his eyebrow at me.

"Nice to see you too Ash," Two-bit said, who was our ride home.

"Pony invited me to his house to study," I said.

"Goo deal! That's one less trip for me to make so I can save some gas!" Two-bit exclaimed.

"Um, Two-bit, that's like less than a block, it wouldn’t be that much gas," Pony said.

"Hey gas is gas! The more I save, the less money I spend," Two-bit said a-matter-of-factly.

"Right, as if you work an honest job to earn that money you shoplifter!" I said amused.

"I’m glad you’re catching on! The less gas I use, the less money I spend, the less shoplifting I have to do!” Two-bit announced so loudly as they reached Two-bit's car that several people turned around to stare at him. I swear, I've got the strangest brother in the world, but I'm proud of it, I wouldn't trade him in for the world.

We got in the car and Two-bit slammed his foot down on the pedal, causing the tires to screech out of the parking lot. Two-bit has some great qualities about him. Being a good driver was not one of them.

As soon as Two-bit parked in the Curtis’ driveway Pony and I both exited the car as quick as possible.

"Want some cake?" Pony asked me as he, Two-bit, and I walked into his house.

"No thanks, I don’t think I could hold anything down just now," I replied. Two-bit gave me a mock offended look. “Besides, I need to cut back on sweets.”

"Why?" Pony asked me, with an inquisitive expression on his face.

"It's a girl thing," I replied.

"Girls are weird," He just muttered as he and Two-bit dug into the chocolate cake. The Curtis boys always had chocolate cake on standby.

"I've known that for a long time," Two-bit replied.

"Tell me, why do you think that? Is it because men and women are so different that you don't even try to understand us women and think we're only good for one thing? Or are you uncomfortable with the male gender roles instilled by society and envy us for at least trying to get comfortable with ourselves and expand our roles? Or is it, and this goes without saying, that we women are intellectually superior to you men?" I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to ask this very question for a while, if for no other reason than to throw a guy through a loop.

Pony and Two-bit starred at me for a minute when Two-bit said, "Okay, time for you to drop out of school, you're becoming too much of a smart ass."

"I learned from the best," I said and winked at him.

After Pony had his cake, he and I sat down on the couch and started reviewing Romeo and Juliet, which is what the English test was going to be on. We also had to write an essay about in regards to the main theme of the play- love.

"Do you write your essay yet?" I asked Pony.

"Yeah I did, did you?" He asked.                           

"Yeah."

"What was it about?" He asked me.

"Well, I wrote how I believe that everyone has a soul mate who I believe they are destined to be with. In love, I don't believe there are any mistakes, and when you find the right person you should be with that person forever." I replied.

"Mine was a bit different," He told me.

"How so?" I asked, interested.

"I wrote about how love causes hurt and heartache, and perhaps people are better off without it.”

"Ponyboy! That's horrible!" I exclaimed.

"Well, what did you expect me to think? After what happened to Sylvia and Dally and Soda and Sandy, now I'm waiting for Evie to break Steve's heart!" Pony said, defending his point.

"Not all relationships are like that, perhaps they all just weren't meant to be," I said, referring back to my point of soul mates.

"Soda was crazy about Sandy, he loved her, and what did she do? Move to Florida breaking all connections between them." Pony said.

"Well, I'll prove you wrong," I said. "Love doesn't always cause heartache."

"How?" He asked, doubtfully.

"I'll think of something. I'll think about it tomorrow, tomorrow's always another day!" I declared, using the best southern belle accent that I could muster as I quoted Scarlet O'Hara from Gone with the Wind.

"You like Gone with the Wind?" Pony asked me, raising his eyebrows and voice.

"Yeah, I've seen the movie three times! It’s a long movie, but it was worth it! I haven’t had the chance to read the book," I said. “I need to change that sometime. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," He said quickly, looking back down at his copy of Romeo and Juliet.

Soon we were joined in the Curtis house by Steve and Johnny and later by Soda and Darry. Johnny came and sat down with Pony and me on the couch. I've always liked Johnny; he's a sweet kid.

"Hi Johnny, how are you?" I asked sweetly.

"Fine, thanks," he said looking at his feet. He's always a bit shy when I'm around, but I guess if I had been what he'd been through I'd probably act the same.

Soon Two-bit and I left the house for home. In the car I stared out the window wondering how in the world I was going to prove Pony wrong about love. Two-bit was not a good example because each week he has a different girlfriend. My parents are no good either, since my dad ran out on my family. Angela recently broke up with her boyfriend Bryon, again, so she was no good either. Pony seemed to have happily married parents from what he's told me about them, but I wasn’t going to bring them up…it wouldn’t be my place.

"Ash," Two-bit interrupted my train of thought.

"WHAT?!" I asked and jumped, for he startled me.

"Shoot, kid! What's with you tonight? You've been quiet." He said.

"Oh, just doing some deep thinking," I said.

Two-bit looked at me suspiciously, "Let me see your arms."

I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt. He took a good look at both arms and when he was satisfied that there were no new cuts on the he said, "What are you deep thinking about?"

"Love," I said.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" He asked startled.

"No! It's nothing like that! You see for English class we have to write an essay about love, and basically Pony told me his was about how he thinks that love only causes heartache, and I told him I'd prove him wrong. Now I'm just trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to do it." I said.

"Oh, well good luck," Two-bit laughed.

"Thanks, I'll be needing it!" I said, laughing too and went back to inventorying everyone I knew who had ever been in a relationship. I started to wonder if maybe Ponyboy was right, but I shook my head, refusing to believe it. Love had to be real. It just had to. Otherwise, what would the point in all this be if there was no love?

Later that night I was on the phone with Angela telling her about the whole love conversation with Pony when Two-bit walked into my room, handed me a letter, and walked out. Smiled a _‘thank you’_ at him as he saluted me and walked back out. What a goof.

"Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him!" Angela suggested.

"That won't work! If he doesn't believe in love then what would be the point in that?” I paused, looking down at the envelope Two-bit had handed to me. It was addressed from Florida. “ Oh I got a letter from Sandy!" I said.

"Really?" Angela asked. Sandy had always been a big sister type to me before she moved away, without notice or explanation to Florida. She and Angela were friendly, but not quite as close. Even though Sandy was definitely a greaser girl, Angela could be downright wild, which I think could be intimidating to other people. I never thought too much of it since Angela and I had been friend since we were probably eight years old. Maybe longer. Sandy, was really nice to everyone though. I cried when I found out she moved. I don’t deal well with feeling abandoned.

I opened the letter and found a bus ticket to Florida!

"Sandy invited me to Florida!" I exclaimed.

"Well, that’s exciting?" Angela exclaimed.

"This is perfect, Angela!” I jumped up on my feet on my bed, excitement growing.

“Sure, take yourself a vacation! Don’t forget to send a postcard!” Angela said dryly.

“No, you don’t understand! This is my chance to prove Ponyboy wrong!" I proclaimed as Two-bit yelled at me in the background to keep it down.

 


	2. In the Name of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash is on her way to Florida! Can she convince Sandy to come back with her?

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Two-bit said shaking his head. We sat in his car at the bus depot.

He and I sat for a while in silence. Over the past few months we had grown closer than ever. Almost joined at the hip, honestly. Let’s just say I gave him a scare. I regretted scaring him  like I had, but something good had come out of it. “Two-bit, I’ll be fine.”

“See, I’m not sure about that either. Who just runs off like she did?” Two-bit replied.

“There is more to the story, I know it!” I insisted, “Let me find out the truth in the matter! I’ll be back in a few days.”

Two-bit looked at me and finally nodded, “Okay. But, I’m going to be a nervous wreck until you get back.”  
  
I leaned over and hugged him tightly. “Be safe, kid,” Two-bit smiled and I got out of his car with my mother’s suitcase.

I woke up when I felt the bus come to a halt. I had been taking a nap most of the bus ride, but now I was wide awake, excited about seeing Sandy, and excited about my mission to prove Ponyboy wrong. I looked out the window and gawked at Florida's beauty, far more beautiful than home. It almost hurt my eyes. I grabbed my suitcase and made my way off the bus and looked around the station for Sandy. Then I saw her, her long blonde pulled back in a headband, her crystal blue eyes shining in the sunlight. She smiled a huge smile, ran up to me, and hugged me. As usual she looked gorgeous.

"Ash, how have you been?" She asked as we broke our tight, five- minute embrace.

"I've been good," I said “now, anyways.”

"Now? What do you mean now?" She asked curiously.

"Oh we've got quite a bit of catching up to do, I'll tell you later," I said.

Sandy led me to her car, I shoved my mother’s suitcase into the trunk of the car, and we got in it and drove off.

"Florida's more beautiful than I imagined," I exclaimed looking out the window.

"Yes, it is nice," Sandy agreed, but something in her tone made me wonder if she was happy here.

I got settled into the guestroom of Sandy's grandmother's house, and then we went into her room, sat on her bed and started talking.

"So, what's been going on at home?" She asked. Home she said home, so she didn't feel at home in Florida! That's a good sign, for me at least.

I told Sandy everything just about everything. I told her about Ponyboy and Johnny running away and becoming heroes, I told her Johnny almost died, I told her about the rumble, I told her Angela broke up with Bryon, I told her I joined the track team, I told her I been cutting myself  and was thinking of doing worse but Pony and Two-bit saved me, and I repaired my relationship with my brother. I told her about everyone and everything except for my love mission and anything to do with Sodapop Curtis.

"Oh, Ash!” Sandy cried with tears in her eyes, “Please don’t ever hurt yourself like that again!” She gave me a big hug.

"Hey, I’m doing ok. I haven’t cut myself in a long time and have been talking to the school counselor about it so don't you worry," I said and smiled. She sighed and nodded.

“I sure have missed out on a lot,” Sandy looked longingly out the window. "So is that about it then?" She asked.

"Yep," I replied.

"Nothing else?" She asked.

"Not a thing," I said casually, pretending not to know what she was after.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"If you want to know about Soda then just ask me," I said coolly.

Sandy opened her mouth and closed it, contemplating what to say next.

"How is he?" She asked.

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" I asked.

"The lie."

"He's fine and dandy." I replied, unfazed by what I just said, looking around her room.

"Okay tell me the truth," She said.

"The truth is that he's miserable. He almost lost the two people that he loved most in the same week, luckily Pony returned, but you acted like it didn't matter to you. You're whole relationship seemed to be worth nothing, or so he thought. His one true love left like that," I said and snapped my fingers, "barely without saying goodbye. What did you expect me to say? That he's swell and better than ever? Well sorry to disappoint you but he's not."

I took a deep breath, I hadn't meant it to come out like that, but I can be rather blunt at times. I've always liked Soda, and I thought Sandy left in a lousy way. If she was going to leave him, then she could have had the decency to give him an explanation for her actions.

For a second there I thought she was going to cry again…and she did.

"I'm sorry, Sandy, that was harsh of me!" I said and put an arm around her.

"No, you're right! It's not what you said. It's just that it was the truth!" She said and cried into my shoulder. "It did matter to me! Our relationship did matter!" She looked up at me, her blue eyes misty. "I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I asked.

"Afraid that…" She said, her lip quivering, "Afraid that we would end up like some of our friends parents! I didn't want that, but that's where we grew up and that what we're used to.”

"Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, not all relationships end up like that. Soda's parents loved each other and so do yours. But that shouldn't matter anyway. If you and Soda love each other then you should be together." I said. Gee, I'm beginning to see a pattern in my conversations lately…

"I know, but still, the thought scared me. I never wanted to hurt Soda, but I thought better now than later." She said.

"I believe that people fall in love for reasons, sometimes love goes bad I know, but I believe everyone has a soul mate," I said, "And I started believing that by watching you and Soda together all the time."

“Well, there was also something else,” Sandy said, blowing her blonde bangs out of her eyes.

I looked at her curiously, “What was it?”

She sighed, “My dad. He was afraid I was pregnant.”

She and I stared at each other moment.

“Well?” I asked raising my voice slightly.

“I’m not!” Sandy said, exasperated. “He just has it in his head that there is no way Soda and I have been together this long unless I was pregnant. So he told me I had to come down here for a while so that things can cool down between me and Soda. And after a few months when he sees that I’m not pregnant he’ll let me come back home.”

Sandy and I stared at each other blankly for several minutes before I exclaimed, “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard! Can’t he just take you to the doctor to find out?”

“You would think, but he doesn’t trust them. He’s on this super religious kick all of a sudden. He thinks doctors are evil.”

She and I stared at each other again for several minutes again.

“So, how long have you been down here now?”

Sandy shrugged, “Oh, about six months or so.”

“Ok, well that is more than enough time to clearly show your dad that you are not pregnant. So why not go home?”

Sandy sighed, “I’m scared. What will Soda think? What about the rumors?”

“Who cares about the rumors! The only way you’ll find out what Soda thinks is if you go up there and talk to him. So, take charge of your life, lady!”

Sandy looked at me like she had never seen me before.

"Well, I think I'll leave you to think about that, I'll go to my room and catch up on some sleep." I said when I looked at the clock on her wall, surprised at how late is was.

"Goodnight Ash," Sandy said softly.

"Goodnight," I said. I walked out of her room with a shadow of a smile on my face. Despite everything I still had a good feeling about this.

All weekend Sandy and I went sightseeing, shopping, and went to the beach to check out the boys (nothing wrong with looking at the menu!) When it came time for me to leave Sandy said, "I'm coming with you."

"What?" I asked.

"I’m coming home. Florida is a nice place, I agree with you, but it's not home." She said. We were in her room, she took out a bag and started packing her clothes. "I already spoke to grandma and my parents, and I told them I needed to be home and that is all there is to it so they would just need to deal with it." I liked this empowered side of Sandy!

"Well, we'll all be glad to have you home. Is there any special reason to you decision?" I asked, knowingly.

"Yep. Soda."


	3. Don't Turn Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With her girl gang on her side will Sandy be able to face Soda?

On the bus ride home, Sandy and I passed time chatting about school (she would have to reenroll at our school as soon as she got back, he parents were already working on the paper work) movies, and discussing politics. Actually, we didn't discuss politics, I was just making sure you're paying attention. Somehow during the trip I managed to let it slip that I have a crush on Ponyboy.

"Oh, that is so cute!" Sandy squealed as I buried my face in my hands.

"Stop!" I whined, my voice muffled, sinking as low in my seat as I could go. I was trying to hide the fact that I was blushing.

"There's nothing wrong with that Ash! That is so sweet! I think you'd be cute together!" Sandy told me, but it didn't help. Hey, I'm kind of shy about that subject. "I swear I'll set you two up!"

"No, don't do that!" I groaned.             

"Oh come on Ash! Why not?" She asked, elbowing me playfully.

"Because, I only want him to ask me out if he really likes me, not because one of my friends set me up with him."

"Hypocrite," Sandy muttered.

"I am NOT a hypocrite!" I said, "Soda asked you out on your first date because he liked you, I never set you up!"

Sandy and I spent the rest of the bus ride home arguing the fact if I was a hypocrite or not. I won the argument, although I wouldn't call it an argument because we were laughing the whole way through it and making silly remarks to support our point that had nothing to do with the subject.

"Oh yeah, well I’m right and you’re wrong, so there!" I said and stuck my tongue out at her.

"Oh, okay then, you win!" Sandy cried as dramatically as she could.

"That had to be one of the strangest arguments I've ever been in," I laughed.

Just then we both felt the bus stop. We looked out the window and saw we were home.

"Home!" Sandy sighed happily.

"Is where the heart is!" I told her, finishing a phrase I had seen on a doormat.

"That's the truth!" She said.

I walked down the steps and instantly made eye contact with my brother. I bounded toward him and he caught me up in a big bear hug. “Hey, kid! Glad you are safe.”

Two-bit set me down, then looked past me. “Well, hey there, Sandy!” Two-bit said cocking an eyebrow. I gave him a smile that clearly said _‘I told you so.’_

“Hey, Two-bit. Nice seeing you again.”

“Well, you ladies need a lift, or are we just gonna stand here staring at each other?” Two-bit asked, and turned on his heel walking to his car.

Two-bit drove us to Sandy’s house. “Now, Two-bit, don’t go flapping you r gigantic yap about this to anyone,” I scolded him. He gave me a mock offended look. I continued, sternly, “I mean it. You keep your yap shut about Sandy being back in town, you dig?”

“I dig,” Two-bit said, raising his hand defensively. “Besides, I have a date!”

“Oh, with who this time?” I asked, truly only half interested.

“This girl I met named Tiffany. Or…. Maybe it was Tracy?” Two-bit pondered to himself briefly but then just shrugged, “Welp, I guess I’ll find out one way or another. You girls have fun doing whatever it is you are up to.”

We got out of his car and waved as he drove away.

“He doesn’t like me,” Sandy said and sighed.

“Hmmm? Oh, nah, don’t let him bother you. You hurt his buddy so it’s just out of principle. As soon as you and Soda reunite things will be back to normal.

Sandy sighed. We went into her house and she had an emotional reunion with her parents. He dad, at long last, had to accept the fact that she just was not pregnant and he had been wrong. It was a little uncomfortable to watch, honestly. For one, it was a happy (however flawed) family reuniting….I’ll never have that with my parents so I can’t lie that I am a little bit jealous. But, her dad is kind of an odd ball. You ever meet one of those people who takes religion way too far? He was kind of like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if I caught him one day burning Beatles records because rock n’ roll is the work of “Satan.”

Anyway, I decided I was going to need reinforcements so I called Angela and Evie both. Angela is my best friend as I am sure you know, but Evie was Sandy’s. They both came over to Sandy’s house and we all had a nice little reunion. We caught Evie and Angela up to speed, but truth be told, Evie was already aware of most of the situation but had kept quiet about it. Evie was beautiful, but has a more intimidating look to her than Sandy did. She was part Italian with olive skin and dark brown hair and eyes. She wore a lot of make-up, especially around her eyes. Most greaser girls did though. Including Angela. Sandy was different because she kept her make-up light. She looked like a California girl. I think that’s part of what attracted Soda to her in the first place.

I was different too. I almost never wore make-up. I was a tom-boy through and through. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend.

“Well, Ash,” Evie’s dark eyes flickered towards me with a smile on her face, “you were able to do what I couldn’t! You got us our Sandy back. Believe me, I tried!”

“You were probably too close to the situation,” I shrugged. What I mean by that is that Sandy and Evie were best friends, and they happened to be data Soda and Steve, who also happened to be best friends. So there probably wasn’t an easy way for Evie and Sandy to really talk in depth about the whole situation without making things more uncomfortable than they already were.

“So, then,” Angela shift on the bed, we were all siting in a circle facing each other, “what now?”

We all figured that we'd go to the Curtis house in an hour because Soda wouldn't be home from work yet. Sandy spent that hour complaining she had nothing to wear or anything to do with her hair. Finally, she came out of her bathroom, which she had been using as a dressing room, wearing a cute yellow dress and her hair curled and done up nicely. She sure looked stunning.

"Well, don't you look sharp?" Angela asked as Evie let out an approving whistle.

"Really?" Sandy asked.

I nodded in agreement.

 Sandy eyes when wide in panic, "I don't want Soda to think I've been getting along just fine without him by going to his house looking all fancy!" She screamed running back into her bathroom and slamming the door behind her.

Angela, Evie, and I all exchanged bewildered looks. We all knew that Sandy wanted to make just the right impression on Soda, but this was getting ridiculous! After modeling off about twenty different outfits for us she settled on a plain brown skirt and white blouse with her hair tied back in a ponytail.

"Okay, I'm ready," Sandy said.

"Finally!"  The three of us sighed, relieved.

The four of us left Sandy’s house and walked to the Curtis house, several times Angela, Evie, and I had to grab Sandy by her arms so she wouldn't turn and run away.

Finally we made it to the door.

"Alright, this is it," I said prepared to knock.

"Oh, God, help me get through this," Sandy prayed. We all waited for a moment when suddenly Sandy broke into a sprint, leaping off the porch and flying down the street. Evie immediately trailed her. I ran after them both, passing them by and jumping in Sandy’s path. Hey, at school I'm a track star what can I say?

"What are you doing?" I asked Sandy, as she stumbled to a halt, Evie crashing into her back nearly knocking them both over.

"I'm sorry," She gasped, catching her breath from both the run but also her nervousness, "It's my nerves, I don't know where they went."

Angela bounded up to us and said, "It doesn't matter, no one's home anyway."

I blinked. Why wouldn't anyone be home? Darry was probably at work, where was everyone else? At the movies maybe? I couldn't see Soda at the movies, maybe he's…

"He's probably working the late shift tonight!" Evie spoke thoughtfully. “I seem to remember Steve saying something about it now that I think about it.”

“Good deal,” I nodded. “We’ll just head over there instead.”

Angela and Evie flanked Sandy on either side linking their arms with hers as we headed over to the DX station as I lead the way. It was both a gesture of reassurance as well as encouragement. We must have looked funny as they had to half drag/half carry Sandy, but she was too nervous to walk by herself.

When we reached the gas station we saw that both Soda and Steve were working late. Evie was right! Man those too can sure attract a crowd with Steve so good with cars and Soda so attractive. We saw a huge crowd of people around them it was a wonder how they could possibly work!

“Those girls better keep their hands to themselves,” Evie drew in a breath slightly but smirked a little. I think she enjoyed watching other girls admire her boyfriend. There was some kind of thrill to it….as long as they kept their hands to themselves at least!

I looked at Sandy who appeared to be in a daze. I gave her a kudge knock her out of it. She glanced at me, as if coming out of a trance.

“So are we doing this or not?” I asked, facing Sandy.

"Ash, don't make me do this!" Sandy whined.

"But, Sandy, I thought you wanted to!" I said.

"I do, I'm just nervous, don't listen to me!" Sandy said. “give me just a minute.” We all nodded. Evie and Angela released her arms as we all stood around. We were still far enough away that no one had noticed us yet.

"Okay, come on, just one step at a time," Angela instructed Sandy.

“Want me to go first?” Evie suggested? “I can go break the ice with the boys, and then you can come up behind me and ease your way in.”

“Yes,” Sandy nodded, “I think that would help.”

“Good,” I said. I nodded at Evie who started walking towards the guys. I turned back to Sandy, “Now, just breathe.”

Sandy took a few deep breaths to steady her breathing.

“Hey, baby,” We could hear Steve say as soon as he saw Evie.

Sandy then quickly turned and ran away again. Angela and I both stood there, stunned. By some coincidence Soda had glanced over. He made his way past the crowd of admirers and caught sight of her blonde hair as she rounded the corner.

"Sandy?" Soda asked himself walking past us.

"Man you're seeing things," Steve said coming after Soda and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Evie stood wide-eyed next to him, eyes dart towards us. We shrugged.

"But I could've sworn that was…" Soda began to say when he looked at Steve who had a look on his face that read 'I don't think so.'

Steve then turned to see Angela and me.

"Hey kids, what're you here for?" Steve asked and smiled at us.

"Um…milk?" I said as Angela looked at me incredulously.


	4. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come at last for Sandy to woman up and face the man she loves. But, will Ash's plan for Pony work or will it backfire?

"Get back here!" I shouted at Sandy as I sprinted up to her. "What do you think you're doing walking away leaving us there like that?" I scolded her, shaking my carton of milk at her.

Sandy stopped in her tracks, she turned to me with an apologetic look on her face but then did a double take, "Why do you have a milk carton?"

"Don't change the subject!" I snarled.

"Look, I'm sorry, it's just that…I didn't want to see him for the first time in front of all those people, I got self-conscious." Sandy explained.

"You are getting pickier and pickier," I said, but I nodded my head. That did make sense, This was becoming much more complex than I thought it would be.

Angela and Evie caught up to us. “Milk, Ash? Really?” Angela scoffed at me and my lame excuse.

“I never said I was a good liar,” I said with a shrug.

“Don’t worry, it worked out in the long run. I told Steve that I was helping you with a project for Home Economics. That’s why we needed the milk and I couldn’t stay long,” Evie said.

"Okay,” Sandy said, and swallowed, “okay, we'll go to his house tonight when he gets off of work, I promise I won't leave this time.”

"How can we believe you?" Angela asked doubtfully.

"Yes you can, I'm ready," Sandy insisted.

"Okay then, well, let's go back to my house and get this milk in the fridge before it spoils." I said. “Also, I have a feeling that maybe what we really need is some liquid courage.

“Now you’re talking!” Angela whooped. This time she lead the way to my house.

We walked into my house. It’s not much. A little one story home. But, hey, it’s a roof over my head and a place to sleep so I really can’t complain. I found a bottle of wine toward the back of the liquor cabinet. I made a mental note to ask Two-bit to help me replace it tomorrow. This was an emergency, after all. I didn’t feel like cleaning a bunch of wine classes so I just grabbed some regular drinking cups.

"Here, this should do the trick," I said victoriously holding the wine bottle and cups above my head as I met my friends in the tiny little living room We had a brown couch and a green, worn out chair with an ottoman and a rather small tv. It wasn’t much, but at least it was clean. You couldn’t say the same about ten months ago. Mom works a lot and Two-bit and I, well let’s just say we didn’t do a lot to help out around the house. I decided that since Two-bit and I agreed to work on and fix our damaged relationship that we should try to do the same with mom. That included us helping out around the house. I did most of the real cleaning, but Two-bit was better about picking up after himself after eating and not leaving a trail of dirty clothes behind him when he got home. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it did help.

Anyway, I started pouring the wine for everyone.

“To Soda and Sandy,” I suggested, raising my glass.

“Oh, I appreciate it. You have all been so patient with me. But, I think everyone should have their own toast too,” Sandy smiled.

I shrugged and nodded, “Okay, good deal.”

"Okay, me first," Angela said, whom by far is the heaviest drinker out of all of us, "To me and Bryon who I am getting back together with…even though he doesn’t know it yet," Angela said giggle mischievously.

“Ooookay then,” I said trying to hide my look of disgust…did I ever mention how much I hate that guy?

"To me and Steve as well,” Evie said with a smile, “I just love my tough guy.”

“To Ash and Ponyboy, and their future together,” Sandy said with a wink. Angela shrieked with laughter and Evie’s jaw dropped and her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

“What???” Evie squealed, “when did this happen!”

“No! Wait!” I said trying to yell over everyone else, thoroughly embarrassed. “Nothing happened!”

“Oh, but you want it to!” Angela teased me. “Face it, Ash, you got it bad for that boy.”

“This needs to happen!” Evie chimed in, “That would be so cute!”

“I told her I would help set them up, but she doesn’t want me to,” Sandy said to Evie and Angela.

“Awww, come on!” Evie said. “I think this match making thing we have going on here is fun!”

“No,” I said, I took a rather large gulp of my wine. It was a bitter dark red wine. I wasn’t much of a drinker and instantly regretted it as I choked the wine down. “Listen, I am helping Soda and Sandy get back together because they already love each other and just need a little help.”

“Also,” Angela spoke up, “She’s trying to prove a point to Ponyboy that love does exist.”

“A-ha! So there is an ulterior motive!” Sandy said, wagging her finger at me. “So why are we trying to prove that love exists to Ponyboy exactly.

I explained to everyone the discussion I had with Ponybody about our Romeo and Juliet essays and his feelings on love.

“It’s not just because I like him,” I said finally. “I just feel….that’s a sad way to be. I feel like living a life without love would be terrible and lonely. And, I just believe that there has to more to life than just bumbling one day to the next without the feeling of excitement and happiness. I feel like love is part of that…I don’t know. Maybe someday I’ll be lucky enough to experience it first-hand.”

“…With Pony.” Evie concluded for me, Sandy and Angela both nodded in agreement.

“I don’t know about that. I’m not sure if he would see me that way,” I said with a shrug.

Here’s the other thing I know about Ponyboy. I know he’s had a crush on a Soc cheerleader, Cherry Valance for a really long time. And if that is the kind of girl he likes, well, I’ll never measure-up. I’m more than likely just going to be doomed to be his friend, you know, the tom boy….almost like one of the guys.

I realized that everyone was staring at me as I was lost in thought.

"Maybe I’m about the whole love and destiny thing, but ever since I read Romeo and Juliet I've been thinking about it a lot more," I continued and shrugged..

"Love and destiny... you know, there was a ranch down by where I stayed with my grandma," Sandy said, changing the subject oddly quickly.

"Really?" Angela asked.

Sandy nodded, and sighed. “I would walk by there on the weekends and sometimes even after school. My grandma knew the owners, real nice family. They would let me help out with the horses sometimes. There was one horse in particular I took a big liking to. A mare.”

"Did she have a name?" I asked.

"Yeah, Minnie Mouse," She replied and my head jerked up suddenly.

"Minnie Mouse?" I sputtered.

“Strange coincidence, you think?” Sandy asked?

I shook my head, “No, that’s a sign.

"Did I miss something?" Angela asked.

Sandy and I then started telling Angela Evie about Soda's horse, at least as much as we knew. He was a dark gold colored buckskin horse, who was on the ornery side, but Soda loved him, but one day was sold.

“I think you all have me believing in destiny now!” Evie laughed, and shook her head bewildered.

 I said honestly, "Things don't happen like that by mistake."

Sandy finished the last of her drink. “Let’s do this.”

None of us needed to say anything. The four of us started our journey over to the Curtis house. This time Sandy walked with her head up high with confidence. The four of us lined up along the walk way outside the house.

"Okay, now are you ready?" I asked before I knocked on the door.

"Yes, Ash, I am," She replied and smiled nervously.

I knocked on the door and…suddenly a fight going on inside over who was to answer the door. Angela, Evie, Sandy, and I all looked at each other strangely, yet amused. Boys can be so juvenile sometimes.

Finally someone opened the door. It was Dally.

 Dally began to say something but was then quickly yanked away from the door and it slammed shut again.

I knocked on the door again, this time Steve answered it.

"Sorry about that. We were…um…never mind…come in," Steve said letting us in, “hey again, baby!

Steve lit up when he saw Evie, but then his eyes shifted to Sandy standing next to her and his face fell slightly.

"Is Soda here?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah, he's in the shower…Sandy?" Steve asked, surprised to see her. "I thought you were in Florida!"

"I was, but I'm not anymore," Sandy said and smiled.

"Soda! Sandy's here!" Steve then called towards the general direction of the bathroom.

Soda stuck his head out the door, glaring at Steve, "You're not very funny Steve. Just because I thought I saw her today doesn't mean you can make fun of…me…" Soda's sentence trailed off when his eyes had drifted from Steve to Sandy. His eyes grew wide and then slammed the bathroom door. About ten seconds later he came out, wearing only jeans.

"Sandy…" Soda said, his eyes were still wide, "What are you doing here?"

"I…” Sandy exhaled nervously. “I….Ash…she brought me…and then we were…" Sandy stammered. I had retreated over to the living room with Angela where we sat with Two-bit and Johnny, trying to give Sandy and Soda some privacy. Honestly I felt like they should go for a walk….and that Soda should put his shirt on. That probably wasn’t helping her concentrate. Or, maybe the rest of us should just leave the house to give them some alone time.

Sandy shook her head and laughed nervously, covering her head with her hands, "Oh, let me try this again. I’m sorry. Well, actually, Ash brought me home from Florida. Let's just say she knocked some sense into me," Sandy said, looking into Soda's eyes, more seriously now.

Ponyboy had come into the room from his and Soda's room. He gasped when he saw Sandy.

"Oh, Soda, I'm sorry, I’ve missed you so much. I never should have left," Sandy said and told Soda sand turning away from him, "I don’t know how you could ever forgive me now that I’m standing here with you." She looked back him, he was still in shock. “I shouldn’t have come here, I’m so sorry.”

As she started to walk away, Soda finally snapped out of it (thankfully, too. If I had to chase that girl down for him one last time I might have strangled him).

He grabbed her arm, and turned her around. Soda looked at her for a few more moments, almost like he was making sure he was real. Soda didn't ever reply. Instead he pulled her towards him and kissed her.

Just then Ponyboy came up to me, grabbed my arm and nodded towards the door, keeping silent not wanting to interrupt anything.


	5. Turn of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Soda and Sandy reunited, what could this mean for Pony and Ash?

"Come on, Pony, say it!" I said, playfully pushing  him.

"Okay, you were right!" Pony admitted to me with a laugh, "Love doesn't just cause broken hearts."

Ponyboy and I had snuck out of his house while Sandy and Soda were making up and we decided to go for a walk. We had done three laps around the block. We went back to his house and peaked in the window to see if it was safe to go in, but alas, it wasn't. I’m not sure what happened to everyone else but I’m glad Soda and Sandy were finally able to have some alone time together.

"Now I have to rewrite my entire essay no thanks to you!" Pony said and glared at me. I just smiled sweetly.

"It'll be for the best," I said.

"Yeah, your right. Thank you."

"Your welcome."

We walked for a bit longer silently. We rerouted out path towards the park.

"How was Florida?" Ponyboy asked me, breaking the silence as we continued to walk together.

"Oh, Pony, it was beautiful, all those palm trees and the ocean, and the beach,” I sighed happily thinking about it, “Oh, one of my favorite moments was watching the sunrise over the ocean. The reflection of the light with the ocean water like a million stars. I hope I can go back again one day." I said, and I secretly thought _‘and I wish you could be there with me.’_

"You will," Ponyboy reassured me as we walked up to the playground equipment. We and I both climbed up on top of the jungle gym.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked him.

"Destiny," Pony replied with a wink. I looked at him strangely.

“Are you making fun of me?” I eyed him suspiciously stifling my own laughter.

He smiled back at me, but shook his head ‘no.’

"What's your new essay going to be about?" I asked him.

"Well," He said, we both were watching the sunset from the top of that jungle gym. I so wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but I didn’t dare. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. I stopped to stare at it. He gave me a curious look.

"That sunset," I replied, "It's…gorgeous."

Pony nodded in agreement, "I dig sunsets, too."

"Sometimes when I'm at home I'll go out on my roof to watch them. I do that on starry nights too," I said. I didn't know why I told Ponyboy that, it just kind of came out. I shyly looked at Pony who was still watching me, “You must think that’s awful corny, am I right?”

Ponyboy shook his head, "Not at all. Like I was saying before, my new essay will be about a girl," Pony replied my question.

"A girl?" I asked. My heart started thundering in my chest so hard I was sure Ponyboy could hear it.

"She's this girl who I've been attracted to for the longest time, but I was too afraid to tell her," Ponboy added.

"Right, now I'm not so scared," Ponyboy said. “And, I have you to thank for it, Ash.”

I bit my lip, not sure what to expect. We sat there until the stars came out.

Pony and I walked silently back to his house. I starred at the ground. Stupid Cherry Valance…

When we walked in guess what we saw…that's right…Soda and Sandy being all lovey dovey. Normally I'd think that would be sweet, but right now I just wasn't in the mood.

 “Want me to walk you home?” He asked me curiously.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll be fine.”

_‘I have to rewrite my essay too…’_ I thought to myself.

"Two-bit," I said walking over to the sofa, "I'm going to go home now. Are you coming?"

"Nah, I'm going to stick around a while longer, I'll see you later okay?" Two-bit replied patting my head. I glared up at him.

I looked across the room and did a double take. Angela was flirting up a storm with Dally! Oh, gee, Tim would hit the roof if he saw that. When she saw I was ready to go home she told Dally goodbye and came with me.

"That Dally is one hell of a guy," She said and smiled. I didn't even want to think about what she was talking about. "What's up Ash?"

"It’s not me," I said miserably.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Angela asked, confused.

"We had this perfect moment together in the park, and I was so sure for a moment there something was going to happen between us," I said and sighed sadly, “but it didn’t. He did tell me that thanks  to me he now has the courage to tell the girl he likes how feels…and it’s not me.”

"Oh, Ash, it probably is you and just got cold feet. He'll come around, you'll see. Guys are weird like that," Angela told me.

"No,” I said, shaking my head, “He’s liked Cherry Valance for the longest time.”  
  
“The Soc cheerleader?” Angela scoffed, “Oh, Ash, I’m sure every guy at school likes her, but come on! Nothing is going to happen between them!”

I shrugged, and then said, “Well, if that’s the case then maybe I don’t want to be his second choice.”

Angela shook her head and sighed, “You know, it’s times like these I wished you were a little more like me. Instead of waiting around for him why don’t you just go up to him, kiss him, and tell him that he’s yours now?”

I laughed a humorless laugh. Yep, that was the difference between us alright. Angela was super confident and forward, which unfortunately gave her a reputation of being a man eater at school. That wasn’t true though. Some people have a problem with strong, confident women though.

Angela and I parted ways. I sighed sadly and continued to walk home telling myself repeated not to think about Pony anymore. I walked for a few more minutes when I suddenly got the strange feeling I was being followed.

I glanced behind me and saw a blue Camaro trailing me slowly. I knew they had their eyes on me from the way they were driving. What would they do to a girl? I've never seen a girl after she'd been jumped. Did they…I shuddered thinking about it. Well, there's no use running for it…what am I going to do? The car drove faster right behind me and parked. I heard the doors opening and closing.

Help.

Oh, God, I've never been jumped before, but I saw Johnny and Ponyboy after they had been jumped and…

Oh God help me!

I tried not to picture myself laying on the ground sobbing and screaming for help at their mercy.

Three Socs came up to me.

"Well, look what we've got here," One said. "Hey baby, need a ride?" He asked.

"No," I said. For some reason my voice was steady, but deep down inside I was so scared my heart was racing a mile a minute.

"No, we insist," He said, a wide smile spread across his face.

“Um, thanks, but I’m fine.”

“Oh, what’s wrong? You don’t like my car?” He then asked, and took a step toward me and in a mocking tone asked, “is it not good enough for you or something?”

I didn’t answer.

“Enough, let’s just get her in the car already!” Another one snarl impatiently.

Suddenly all three of them came toward me. I started screaming as loud as I could. I have a very powerful scream. I wasn't too far away from the Curtis house…maybe they'd here me.

I ran as fast as I could, running in the direction of the Curtis house. I was fast, but I was also scared so my body wasn’t responding to my impulses properly.

"TWO-BIT!" I screamed.

One of them grabbed my arm. I twisted and jerked around and broke his hold. Luckily he had underestimated my strength and I was able to run away again, toward the Curtis house. I'm pretty strong for a girl.

"Help!" I screamed. I heard their footsteps behind me, their laughing scared me even more.

"PONYBOY, STEVE, SOMEONE HELP!" I shrieked.

I was then tackled to the ground. The wind was knocked out of me. One of them sat on my back, holding my hand behind my back.

_‘I'm going to die!’_ I thought wildly. I tried twisting my body and kicking my legs but I couldn't get the guy off my back. When I was sure all hope was lost I felt the Soc suddenly get knocked off of me by a large amount of force. I sprung up, my whole body aching and turned to see Two-bit pinning the Soc down absolutely wailing on the guy. I was relieved to see that everyone was there, even Angela who had heard me screaming while she was walking home.

"You okay?" Angela asked, coming to my side with a terrified look on her face.

"Fine," I said. I was actually except for my back hurting from the Soc sitting on it. The boys chased the Socs away.

"Ash, are you alright? What happened?" Two-bit asked me after he was through with the Soc.

"I was walking home and they followed me in their car and tried to jump me," I replied. I suddenly felt a bit faint and started to fall but Two-bit luckily caught me.

"I'm gonna walk her home, I'll see you all later," Two-bit told the others, “Angela, you come with me. You can stay at our place or I can drive you home. I should have known it would be too late for you girls to walk home alone.

Before we left I saw Ponyboy looking like he was trying to catch my eye. It looked like he wanted to tell me something but he failed to do so.

"I'm sorry Ash! I should have brought you home in the first place!" Two-bit said going on and on about how miserable he felt about me almost getting jumped.

"Two-bit, it's not like you could have known, don't worry about it," I told him.

"You should have pulled…" Two-bit was about to tell me that I should have pulled my blade on them but then he remembered he took my blade from me. "I probably should give that back to you but…"

"Two-bit if I was going to cut myself again I could just as easily use a kitchen knife," I reassured him.

"I know," He said.

When we got back to our house he went into his room and brought me back my switchblade. He had given it to me the first time after he had gone on a shoplifting-spree while I was still in Junior High. He hesitated before handing it over to me. Angela was looking back and forth between us apprehensively.

"Be careful with this, okay?" He told me.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything bad with it," I told him.

"I want to trust you," Two-bit said. He finally handed it back to me. It felt strange back in my hand.

Angela and I walked Two-bit out of the house but before he left he turned to me and said, "You promise?"

"Yes Two-bit!" I cracked a smile.

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” Angela assured him.

So Two-bit left, I’m guessing he and the guys were going to go make some rounds in the neighborhood to make sure the Socs were gone. I shoved the knife in my pocket. I wasn't going to cut myself again, ever. Angela and I went upstairs into my room. I closed my door, and threw myself onto my bed and cried. I felt Angela’s weight sink next to me on the bed. She lay down next to me and put an arm around me.

I sat up in bed and looked at the clock; it was one o’clock in the morning. AGH! This was such a horrible night how am I going to be able to get past this? How will I ever be able to look Pony in the eye again? I looked at Angela who had drifted off to sleep. She looked like a doll as she slept, I noticed.

I crept downstairs past my brothers. I could hear him in his room, tossing and turning in bed. I was careful not to wake him. My mom’s door to her room was shut tight I noticed as I slipped past her room silently.

I tip toed into the kitchen, opened the liquor cabinet ever-so- silently, pulling out another bottle of wine, just like the one from the previous day. Geez, how many of these do you have mom? I crept back to my room and closed the door behind me.

I attempted to open the bottle silently, but I had some trouble with the cork. I snarled at it. Finally, switched open the switch blade my brother had returned to me a few hours ago, stabbed it into the cork and pulled it out with a ‘pop’ promptly waking Angela. Angela sat up and we stared at each other blankly. I then shrugged, and took a swig out of the open bottle. As I said before, I'm not usually a heavy drinker, Angela is, but right now I needed a drink.

“Rule number one, never drink alone when you are feeling like this,” Angela said softly. She took the bottle from me, took a swig, and then handed it back over.

I nodded a bumbled around my room a bit.  I sat down at my desk and got out a piece of paper and started to write a new love essay for tomorrow, actually today, for English. I took another swig and felt hot tears swell up in my eyes. Burning tears of anger made paths slowly down my face, silently; I took another swig of the vodka. Tears stained my paper as I wrote.

“Ash, I’m here. Talk to me,” Angela said as she perched on the edge of my bed.

Angela is a good friend. Anyone who says otherwise is going to have my fist rammed down their throat.

"God, how do I get myself into these messes?" I said out loud as I continued to write, cry, and drink at the same time, which is no easy task, believe me.

“I know a lot happened today and there were a lot of emotions flying around. But the getting jumped thing was absolutely was not your fault. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Angela said, “I know it scared you, but you are going to be okay. As for Ponyboy, either he is a smart guy or a dumb guy. If he is smart, he’ll get together with you. If he’s dumb, then he’ll pass you up and if that the case who would want him anyway?”

I laughed dryly at Angela. I finished my essay, which turned out to be more of a poem than an essay, but it did sum up what I was feeling at that moment. I put the piece of paper in my English folder. Then I continued to drink, cry, and pace around my room. Angela stayed with me the whole time. That's all I can really remember.

Later I heard Two-bit knock on my door. I felt as if a baseball bat repeatedly hit me in the head. "Wake up girls or we'll be late for school!"

Angela and I both groaned loudly. Wine hangovers….I don’t recommend them.

"Oh, what a dilemma," I said, my speech was slurred. I was sprawled out on the floor with a now empty bottle of wine next to me. Honestly I don't even like win.. Now I had I horrible taste in my mouth, a pounding headache, and I smelled like alcohol. Great…

I dragged myself off the floor and stumbled into the bathroom. I saw myself in the mirror and stared. I looked a mess! I had my old clothes on from yesterday still, circles under my eyes, my skin broke out in red splotches, and my eyes didn't seem to want to focus on one certain object.

That's when I felt a stinging pain in my stomach. I stumbled to the toilet and vomited.

"Ash, are you okay?" Angela asked outside the door. She was a heavier drinker so it didn’t hit her as hard.

"Fine, just dandy," I said, doing little to hide the sarcasm from my voice.

I tried to clean myself up the best I could by taking a cold shower to wake me up, changing my clothes, and putting extra time into my hair. I even tried to use a little make-up to hide the splotches. My appearance improved, but I couldn't seem to get the wasted look out of my eyes.

"Love, ha, whatever that means," I said to my reflection in the mirror. I starred at it a few second longer, then grabbed a soap dish, threw it at the mirror cracking it.


	6. Into the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling rejected Ash finds feels like she is surrounded by storm clouds. Could there be a silver lining?

I stormed down the hallway, yanked open my locker, grabbed my books out of it, and slammed the locker shut. I groaned and rested my head against my locker. This day really just didn’t need to happen.

"Ash?" A concerned voice came.

"What?" I asked a sour note in my voice.

"Have you been drinking?" The voice asked. I lifted my head and looked over at Sandy. I was a little surprised to see her already back at school. Her parents must not mess around.

"How did you…?" I started to ask.

"You smell vaguely of wine," she explained. "I heard about what happened. Are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied. I wasn’t entire sure what she was referring to. Me almost being jumped, or about everything with Ponyboy? Either way, I didn’t want to talk about it. I turned and walked aways, realizing how much my ribs still hurt. I felt sort of bad though. Sandy has always been nice to me. She didn’t deserve my misdirected anger. I definitely was going to apologize to her later.

My mood was a dark one all morning, snapping at friends, getting extra-mouthy with teachers, and pushing my way through the crowds of people at school in some kind of zombie like state. That's when the strangest thing happened. I went back to my locker to put away my History book and go to lunch and to my surprise I found a lily taped to it. I pulled it off of my locker and starred at it for s second.

"Who in the world would give me a flower?" I asked myself. I decided it was Angela…or maybe Sandy perhaps trying to cheer me up out of my rotten mood today. It was definitely one of them. Either way, I would figure it out but now I had to meet my brother in the parking lot for lunch.

"What's up Ash?" Two-bit asked me and I nearly jumped out of my skin when he broke the silence. We were eating at the drive-in, Jay's, well actually he was eating, I was just picking at my food which at the moment looked unappetizing.

"Nothing," I lied. Lately, I've hated lying to my brother, I love him, but I just didn't feel like telling him what was going on right now.

"Don't tell me that, you're totally not yourself today, what's up?" Two-bit asked.

"Well, if you really want to know, I've had the biggest crush on one of your friends and to prove to him that love exists I went to Florida to bring Sandy back to Soda to show him that love does exist, so he would agree with me that I was right about love and that maybe he would see me as more than a friend. But then he didn’t and told me he likes someone else. Then I almost got jumped and I went home and cried and then got drunk on wine with Angela while I re-wrote my stupid love essay, then today I snapped at Sandy for no reason and I feel bad about it.  And then I found  a flower that was taped to my locker and I have no idea who it was from," I replied very quickly, hoping that Two-bit wouldn't catch much of what I said.

Two-bit sat there staring at me, looking kind of silly with his mouth slightly open and then finally said, "So that's 'Nothing', huh?"

I just nodded and starred at my food again.

"You got drunk last night?!" He then yelped.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Ash, watch yourself now with the drinking…"

"You do it."

"I know, but you don't want to get into that kind of stuff. It could ruin your athletic ability," He said, referring to me being on the track team.

"Who the hell do you think you are lecturing me about drinking?" I then asked, glaring at him.

"Your brother," He replied, staring hard into my eyes, "And as for this Ponyboy thing, and I've known about it for a long time, don't get so worked up about it."

"How'd you…" I was about to ask him how he knew I liked Pony but decided not to, thinking it might sound dumb. I also wanted to ask him to define "getting worked up" but also chose not to.

"Well, look who's here, the fiery red-head," Sandy said sarcastically as I passed her in the hallway as I headed  towards my Math class.

"Sandy, I'm sorry about this morning, I just had a really rough night, you dig?" I said, lowering my head.

Sandy looked at me for a second and then grinned, "Hey, we're friends aren't we? Of course I dig."

"Oh, I got the flower," I informed her.

"What flower?" She asked, furrowing her brow.

"The flower on my locker," I replied. She looked at me strangely. I told her about going to my locker and finding the mysterious flower taped to it.

"Wasn't me," She told me.

"Then…maybe it was Angela," I said thoughtfully.

“Uh, oh. What’d I do now?” She asked coming up from behind me looking back and forth between me and Sandy.

“Did you happen to tape a flower to my locker?” I asked curiously.

Angela looked at me quizzically and shook her head.

“Then…who?”

Math class passed and I hurried into English class taking my seat. I didn't look up when Ponyboy sat down next to me. I just got my new English essay out and set it on my desk. I titled it "Loveless Life" which summed it up pretty nicely. Love got me into this mess and I never want to have to go through it again.

But then again there was that flower.

Who gave it to me, and why?

Hopefully not a secret admirer, I'd have to tell him off.

I refused to even consider Ponyboy the one who gave it to me.

I closed my eyes and mentally scolded myself for even thinking about him. I have got to let that boy go.

"Would anyone like to share a summary of their essays before you pass them in?" My English teacher asked and I almost jumped out of my skin, I don't know why, my nerves just suddenly left me.

I felt Pony's eyes on me but I didn't look at him.

"What about you Ash?" He asked, and smiled at me. My teacher had always liked me, I'm a pretty good student and I love English.

"Alright," I said and cleared my throat, "I think that people are better off without love. All love does is cause pain. I've seen way too many fallen relationships…it’s just an illusion people get caught up in. Look at what happened to Romeo and Juliet, they thought they were in love after knowing each other for less than a day, and where did they end up? DEAD! Love killed them and it hurt everyone else around them, and I think that they could have had happy lives, but love destroyed their chances of that ever happening."

I stole a glance at Pony and saw a look of shock on his face.

“Well, erm, thank you for that perspective, Ash. Would anyone else like to share?

Pony was still looking at me as he then raised his hand.

"I'd like to share mine," Pony said.

"Go right ahead Pony," the teacher said.

"There's nothing without love. People need it to get by in life. At one time I felt as Ash does, but someone proved me wrong, she showed me that," Pony paused and looked at me, "She showed me that love is the greatest thing in the world. I really like this girl but I was too afraid that I'd get hurt if I told her how I felt, but I'm not afraid anymore. Thank you Ash."

I stared at Pony blankly for a moment. How dare he do that? Did he think that that "thank you" would make up for what he put me through last night? I did my best to give him a half smile and nod, but that was the best I could do.

I realized I was being unfair. I would talk to him after class I decided as I sat and listened to a half a dozen more love speeches. But as soon as class dismissed beat it out of there as soon as I could, nearly running down my teacher. I sped down the hall way as fast as I could and got to my locker…AGH! ANOTHER FLOWER! Who the hell left it for me?!

I started throwing a massive tantrum right there in the middle of the hallway. I stopped when I noticed people staring at me.

"Whoa! Get a hold of yourself there, Ashey!" Angela laughed as she walked up to me.

"Ashey? Don't EVER call me that again!" I said flatly.

"What's up?" She asked.

"THIS!" I growled as I held up the second flower. She strred at me.

"How DARE somebody give you a flower!" Angela snarled sarcastically.

"It’s the second one!” I snarled, as I ripped open my locker and pulling the first out and I waved them both in her face, “Who the heck is leaving these for me?" I asked.

"I haven't a clue. Anyway, there's my ride home," Angela said and waved to some guy in the hallway, "I see you tomorrow."

"Bye," I said when it hit me like the Titanic hit the iceberg, I had to ride home in the same care as Ponyboy! I then slammed my head into the locker door as I cursed out loud.

"Ash?" A voice asked. I looked up and saw Two-bit staring at me, very confused, cocking his eyebrow. "You shouldn't do that, you'll lose brain cells, YOU need all the brain cells you can get!"

"Oh, very funny, Two-butt," I growled.

"Hey, I do NOT have to butts!" Two-bit insisted.

"Oh you mean that's your FACE? Oh I'm sorry, my mistake!" I said. I felt a smile growing on my face against my own will. I couldn’t help it. Sooner or later Two-bit would manage to make me laugh.

"Now where the hell is Pony? " Two-bit asked. I shrugged. Unsatisfied, Two-bit took it upon himself to locate him "PONYBOY! WHERE ARE YOU?!" He shouted on top of his lungs so suddenly that my heart nearly jumped out of my throat.

"Give me a heart attack, why don't you?" I said, holding my chest and shaking my head as I laughed.

"Is everything okay?" Pony asked when he walked up behind us, his eyes were enormous and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Two-bit then grinned at me, “See? It worked!”

“Alright, let’s just get out of here then,” I said, scooping up my books and my flowers and walking toward the door. I spotted Two-bit’s car and noticed something peculiar on the window"NOT AGAIN!" I exclaimed after I reached Two-bit's car. I heard Ponyboy and Two-bit laughing at me from behind as I threw a tantrum in the middle of the parking lot. Yep, you guessed it! Another flower was tape to the window of the car.

"Easy there, Ashey, it could be worse," Two-bit said.

"Don't call me Ashey. How exactly could this be worse?" I asked.

"Well, it's not like the person is leaving you stink bombs or something," Two-bit replied with a goofy grin on his face.

I glared at him and rolled my eyes, “Fair enough, I guess.”

I asked Two-bit to drop me off at home due to the fact that I didn't really want to hang around the Curtis' house. I opened the door and quickly ripped off the flower that had been taped to it. I’m starting to get a nice little bouquet here! Who is this guy and how did he know my favorite flowers are tiger lilies? I put the flowers in a make shift vase vase and then went upstairs to my room to do my homework, which I couldn't really concentrate on. Math never really interested me anyway…

Just then the phone rang…

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Ash, can you come over the Curtis'?" A voice asked me. It was Steve.

"Steve? Why? What's up?" I asked, surprised to hear his voice on the other end.

"Let's just say there's a surprise here for you…" Steve replied. I knew something was up, I could hear it in his voice.

"Well, okay…" I said and hung up the phone.


	7. Trying to Move On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash gets an unexpected surprise!

I was feeling pretty apprehensive about walking to the Curtis’ house from my house considering what had happened the night before, even though it was broad daily light and they lived down the street and just around the corner, but I put on a brave face and did it. Quickly. My pace increased even more as I passed by the spot where the Socs had confronted me the previous night. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind and wondered what in the world Steve had been talking about on the phone. I pondered this to myself as I let out a sigh of relief and turned off of the sidewalk and into the Curtis' driveway. I stepped up onto the driveway and let myself in the front door. I walked into the family room to see Soda and Steve listening to the song "You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound Dog" with pop cans in their hands (pretending they were microphones), singing and dancing around the room.

"Um...yep…I definitely should have knocked this time…" I said as I felt my eyes go wide with amusement.

"Oh! Ash! We didn't hear you come in!" Soda said, jumping when he heard my voice. Steve started laughing in embarrassment and Soda stood there blushing and scratching the back of his head.

"So, Steve, what was the big surprise you were telling me about? Hopefully you guys weren't going to serenade me…" I said laughing.

"Oh, come on Ash, as if you've never done that before," Steve said.

"You're right, I haven't," I said and I felt my smile broaden.

"Well, no, we weren't going to serenade you," Steve said walking up to me, "But someone's here who would like to ask you something."

I looked curiously at Steve for a second. I didn't realize that anyone else was in the house. I couldn't see WHY anyone would want to be in the house after the performance that I had been unfortunate enough to witness…

"Ash…" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see Curly Shepard, Angela's brother, behind me.

"Curly! How are you? What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised to see him.

"Well, I've had something on my mind for a while and I thought it would be a good time to ask you…" Curly said to me, purposefully trailing off as he peaked my  interest.

"Ask me what?" I asked him.

"Well, you know about the dance this Friday?" Curly asked.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked and thought _'Dance? What dance?'_

"Do you have a date yet?" He asked me.

"No…" I replied and my head started to spin. What on Earth was going on here?

"Well, do you want to go with me?" Curly asked.

I paused for a second. Curly was a cool guy, but not my type. But, hey, what could one school dance hurt? As a matter of fact, this could be really good for me. It's about time that I started thinking about other guys besides Ponyboy, right? If Ponyboy wanted to ask me, well, I'm afraid he's missed his chance. I'm not going to sit around waiting for him forever. I have a life and I can do whatever I want with it. I have the right to date and guy I want to and… oh, I'd better answer Curly…

"I'd love to!" I said and smiled. I hugged Curly, feeling the tough, musky material of his leather jacket crinkle in my embrace. He returned the hug with a laugh. He must have been the one who was leaving the flowers around for me. What a sweet, yet strange, thing for him to do! I never would have expected Curly! He just did not strike me as the romantic, sentimental type. I always thought he was sort of a miniature version of Tim. A hood through and through. Both of them are good guys, loyal to the bone, but glory you would not want to cheat or cross them.

"Well, great! I’ll pick you up at seven then." Curly said, as I released him from my hug. He took my hand and held it in his for a moment.

I heard the front door open. I turned to see Two-bit, Johnny, and Dally walk in.

"Now isn't that sweet?" My brother said when he saw me and Curly holding hands. He then set his head on Dally's shoulder and pretended to cry.

"What the hell?" Dally asked trying to move away from Two-bit who was now hugging him around the neck as Johnny quickly stepped away from them while stifling a laugh.

Ponyboy walked in behind everyone else and saw Curly and me. A strange look had come on his face that I couldn’t quite read. I wasn’t really sure what to make of his reaction, but I tried to convince myself that I didn’t really care anymore.

Later that night I found myself in my room talking to Angela on the phone.

"So, my brother finally asked you to the dance?" Angela asked, “It’s about time!”

"What do you mean 'finally'?" I asked, curiously.

"Well, he's liked you for a while now, but he didn’t think you would feel the same way so he never asked you out," Angela explained.

"Really?" I asked. I had NO idea Curly had ever felt that way about me, "Well, he sure did surprise me! And this will be really good for me. It’s about time I started playing the field and dating around rather than pining away for one guy.”

"Are you sure?" Angela asked me.

"Of course I'm sure!" I stated. I was really trying to believe myself. I needed to move past Ponyboy. Do I like Curly? I guess so. Not a whole lot though, as a friend maybe. I just didn't see us clicking, you know. I really don't feel anything between Curly and me. But, maybe something will grow between us…who knows? I'll give him a chance though, isn't that the purpose of dating?

"So, are you going to the dance with anybody?" I asked Angela.

"A group of friends Curly and I hang out with. I'm going to see if I can find Bryon there, you know, rekindle the old flame," Angela said. I could just picture Angela in my head. I saw her laying on her back on her bed, with her arm outstretched in front of her as she examine her hand in front of her, maybe looking at her nails. Her long, black hair was hanging over the edge of the bed and down the side like a waterfall of black ink. Maybe the lights in her room were switched off and she was laying there in the dark. Angela liked the dark. Maybe it was because things didn't appear so bad in the dark, or maybe it was just because the dark matched her personality. I love the sun, and the warmth of its rays, yet Angela shies away from it. Maybe it was because it made things appear too happy. Angela and I are total opposites in a lot of ways.

"Want to go shopping after school tomorrow?" I asked Angela.

"Sure! We can buy some new clothes for the dance to make ourselves look sharp and break some hearts, right?" Angela laughed devilishly.

"Yeah!" I laughed to. I was sitting at my desk with some paper and a pen in front of me. I had been writing a story before I decided to call Angela. "And we could see if Sandy and Evie want to come too."

"Yeah, and we can get in on all the dirt that's been happening between Sandy and Soda!" Angela added.

"Sure! Sounds like a plan!" I said feeling excited now. I turned in my chair and saw myself in my mirror. I squeezed the phone between my ear and my shoulder so I could have both of my hands free to redo my ponytail, not that it really mattered how my hair looked because I wasn't going anywhere.

Evie and Sandy agreed to go shopping with us. I was excited that they were coming with us. Let’s just say I could use as much help in this department as I could get since I almost never wear dresses. About 99% of my wardrobe is jeans and t-shirts. Like I said, I’m a tomboy. But, I did want to look nice and try something new for this dance. And maybe I was hoping I could prove a point to Ponyboy to show him what he was missing out on. I may not be Cherry Valance, but I could clean up pretty good…I think.

Also, Sandy and Evie are seniors at school so they have more experience going to dances than Angela and me.

After meandering around for a while, looking at multiple dresses I finally found one I thought I could feel comfortable in.

"What do you think of this dress?" I asked Angela, Evie, and Sandy. We were shopping in a clothes store in town for dresses for the dance, just like Angela and I had planned the night before. It was a light green dress, cut two inches above my knees, showing off a little leg but not too much, sleeveless, and, well showing a little cleavage, not a lot though, I'm not into that kind of style.

"Oh, Ash, you look so cute in that!" Sandy exclaimed as Evie nodded in agreement. I twirled around in the dress.

"It is perfect with your hair and skin!" Angela said, approving.

Angela had settled on a new black dress, of course. She loves the color black. She planned on wearing her sleeveless leather vest with it. It was a cute dress though. It had spaghetti straps and was short. Typical Angela style.

Sandy and Evie were also buying dresses. Sandy chose a light blue dress that brought out the color of her eyes. Of course ANYTHING would look good on Sandy, she was just one of those people who would always look beautiful, kind of like Marilyn Monroe, Sandy looked like a model or a movie star.

Evie settled on a red figure hugging dress. She had the curves and confidence to pull a dress like that off.

"So, what's your plan for Bryon?" Sandy asked Angela who had mentioned a few too many times about her plan to snatch him back up.

"I'm gonna lasso him!" Angela laughed.

"Oh dear…" I said, laughed with her.

"No, I'm just gonna play it cool, you know, flirt and all that," Angela said.

"What about you and Sodapop? Anything special planned for the dance?" I asked Sandy, who smiled when I said Soda's name.

"Dinner first, he told me. Then we're going to the dance. He has some sort of surprise cooked up for me, but I don't have any idea what it is yet," Sandy replied.

"And while we're on the subject of our dates,” Evie interjected, “how did this whole Curly thing happen?"

I explained about how Steve had called me telling me to go to the Curtis' house because there was a surprise for me, how Steve and Soda were singing in the family room (Sandy and Evie both got good laughs out of that), and finally how Curly asked me to the dance.

“Well, that’s a good deal, I suppose,” Sandy said with a sigh, “But, I was really rooting for you and Ponyboy.”

_“Yeah, me too,”_ I thought to myself feeling a pang of sadness, in my chest, but I just smiled and shrugged. Gotta keep my head up!


End file.
